Wednesday, October 27, 2010

my feeling of failure today

I feel like I am in a losing battle in my classroom. Specifically with one student. I don’t know what to do with him anymore. I end up yelling and being negative with him 9 times out of 10. I just get so worked up and so frustrated that nothing I try works with him. I know I need to be loving and supportive but I just cant seem to do that. I know he needs love and support since he probably doesn’t get that at home. I feel like I fail because I am not giving him what he needs. Today was another day where I lost control and ended up yelling at him. I mentioned it to another teacher in the staffroom and shortly after returning to class, she called him to her office. I know it wasnt her intention, but i still feel like someone else has stepped in and handled my business because I cant. This also screams failure at me. I know she is probably just trying to help. But I just feel like since I am not doing a good job of getting through to him and someone else needs to come in and do it, that I am a failure. This struggle and these ideas are so overwhelming to me. I cant seem to focus on teaching now. Ugh

1 comment:

Heather said...

My dear friend,
I'm sorry to hear of your frustration but you are not a failure. You have done and dealt with more than most people, even myself, could handle. You work with kids that come from a sucky life and a sucky home which means some of the suckiness is carried with them. Some of them you can help, but some just simplym you can't help. Perhaps with this kid God has put him in your path to teach you how to better show him His love, or perhaps He has put him in your path to let you know that you don't have to do this alone and thus He has presented you with the other teacher. Either way, I'm sure the best thing is to pray for him and his environment that God would send someone to guide him onto the path. If that's you, great. If not, great, I'm sure He has a plan and I'm pretty sure it's not failure. Love you friend. I'm always a phone call away!