10 things..

i miss...

1. special times in big bear with these two...they have ben such a huge blessing in my life. and played a strong role in my journey.

2. my dear friend ally. been through a lot together- growing up through college along side each other. i know that i can count on her for anything. she has always been an encourager. and someone who asks the hard questions and keeps me accountable. i had the honor to stand alongside her for her wedding to shawn this past summer...one of the highlights of my life

3. big bear lake with these girls. so many heartfelt conversations were shared here. along with so much laughter. i love them and miss the simplicity life seemed to have at this specific season of life.

4. my special friend in costa rica. my heart fell in love with him the moment i met him. i have not stopped thinking and praying about him since i left in february of last year. i hope and pray that i will get to see him again when i return in december of this year. (i also miss costa rica...and highly anticipate my return)

5. amanda (though i am seeing her in a week!!!) she has been someone who makes me laugh no matter what. she affirms me with her words an her friendship daily. i have shared my heart with her and she has in turn loved and cared for me so deeply. i am truly blessed by her and so sad i dont see her enough...but this next weekend will be GLORIOUS!!!

6. when ty would spend the night with me (before the  girls were born) and we 

would have breakfast at my favorite donut shop before church on sunday

7. when keirra and kaydin were this little. this was one of our favorite days ever meeting our twin nieces for the first time!!!! he is holding kaydin  and i am holding keirra...and i know it is not ok to have favorites but josh and i figure if we both have one favorite...then neither will be left out :-) and funny that this picture from the first day we met them actually reflects our favorites :-) (side note...we love each of our nieces and nephew the same)

8. the laughter and company shared with my cousins at christmas time. i hope we will never stop spending quality time together at the holidays. we have so many special traditions.

9. hooch. i love her and am sad she lives in another state. she is another special friend God gave me in college. He knew i needed her. i am glad He knew. i had the joy and honor of standing beside her (and my other close friend james) at her wedding this summer...i am one lucky girl

10. the gypsy den. no words can even be said to describe this amazingness. i know i will never relive that season of life...and i am thankful i had that opportunity...but i miss it!!!

(post was inspired by amanda...cant wait to see you!!!!)

not sleepy

so tomorrow is my first day back at work with students. went back to work today for a teacher work day so i just got to work in my classroom. alone. kid free for the day. definitely a nice transition back into work mode. but i have gotten so used to being able to stay up late and sleep in a bit that i am not tired and need to sleep. i need so badly to sleep. so in hopes of making myself sleepy i am going to blog.

we are moving. to a bigger apartment next week...so we thought

 we should start packing. well we have completed the following:

-the hall closet

-the laundry closet/area

-our bathroom areas (well other than the essential things we will need this next week)

we still have lots to do:

-the kitchen (ugh)

-the junk drawers (YES. plural. how do 2 people end up with so much junk things that we actually need more than 1 (or 2) drawers designated for junk. 

-the living room

-odds and ends (basically random crap we have accumulated over the last year)

-meg's room

i was able to get my room done tonight while megan was at practice

e (we are going to be storing all packed items in my room to keep them out of the way and to make it easier to clean the apartment this weekend

this is what my room looks like packed. oh moving. why must you be so not fun????

i did take a break to watch twilight with megan tonight and talk to my dear friend nicole from college. man. it has been years (probably since her wedding in 2005) since we have talked like we did tonight. i miss her. and realized tonight how thankful i am that God gave her to me as a friend at cbu. He knew i needed her. and just how much i needed her friendship, love, encouragement, and humor my last couple years there. she is incredible and now lives in texas with her hubby...i miss her...i should go visit....i do have my southwest credits...hhhmmm maybe next off track time.... 

:-)

lots of things...

...which will lead to a random blog...so in order to help the readers they are in bullet points

a. i just got back from a random and quick trip to tuscon. my brother lives out there and i needed to make a trip out to get some furniture (see point b.) luckily drea was wonderful enough to make the trip with me. it is a 7 hour (yes 7 hours) drive from my home in the ghetto to tuscon. and it is a pretty boring drive. ugh. anyways left about 730 on tuesday night (which haas us arriving about 3 am on weds...due to many breaks (see point a1). slept in a bit and then used the handy tomtom (awesome by the way for someone so directionally challenged as me) to find brothers work and visited him. watched a movie and played some guitar hero world tour and then went to dinner. went to bed since we were getting up at 5 am on thursday to load up the furniture and make the drive back. like i said. a very quick trip. it was nice to spend some time with my brother. as much as he DRIVES ME CRAZY and hurts my feelings. i love him and do miss him very much and how close we were when he lived here.

a1. road trips with girls are way better cuz you can stop whenever you want and however many times  you want. no stress about "staying on schedule" or "making good time". you can just play

b. i am moving. to a new apartment. but in the same complex. just bigger. as of april 1st we will be living in a 3 bedroom apartment. the reason for the move: my sister is moving in with us. (and my niece too ) i havent always been close with my step sister but as we have grown up a lot in the last year and life has given m family some trying circumstances, we have grown closer. my sisters life seems to be coming together and since she is currently living in my parents office, it will be a definite blessing for her to move out and have some space. so i am so excited to be able to help her out and to get to live with my niece. so all that, we are moving. but no worries it is the same place just bigger. so still visit us. :-)

c. pray for my little nephew ty. he is very sick right now (pink eye and 2 ear infections) and the doctors are doing some tests to figure out whats going on with his digestive tract. he is having some pain in his stomach. he is so very special to me so please say a little prayer for him as you read this. 

d. community group. have been leading one for a long time. i love it. and God has given me a different dynamic group of people each time. i have learned so many things from each group. the last cycle we did with it my group was large. quite large. some nights almost 20 people were crammed in my living room. which is awesome but makes the small group/community setting very hard to achieve. due to such a large group we decided to split into 2 groups after christmas. the groups are now about 5-8 consistent people in each. this was weird and different for all of us and at first we were not so sure we liked it. as the weeks have gone on it has definitely grown on us. the group is closer. we are studying galatians right now. and my group is moving very slowly through it but it is working for us. tonight was good. really good. one of the girls was sharing some questions she has been having about the chapter we are in. just things she is trying to figure out the answers to. and it was not what i had planned on going over tonight but that was ok. i just kinda let the conversation go where God was leading it. there were only 4 of us tonight and so the discussion was small and nice. we all put in some input about the questions or formed new ones about the topic. as i reflect on the discussion it was so neat to see all four of us in our Bibles searching for scripture that we felt would answer the question or provide encouragement. we were digging!!! so cool. man i am so lucky for my small group girls and the friendships i am making are life long and solid (even if ariel thinks i am too old to be her life long friend...hahahhaha) i am the "leader" i guess but i feel so inadequate sometimes and especially tonight i feel i learned more than anyone i was"leading" i love them...

e. i am slacker of a person. so my small group has decided to memorize a verse each week that God is teaching us with. then we come to small group and recite the verse. and each week you recite your new one and your old one. this was the second week we have done it AND the second week that i didnt do it. ugh. i even picked one out this week but didnt learn it by heart. i feel lame. but my group is challenging me to do it. i have made the commitment to learn THREE for next week. (so keep me in check)

f. james and ruth have been here this week and i have gotten to spend some time with them (and more tomorrow)  these two are so very special to me. james was one of my very first friends at cbu. we went to school together, worked at camp, and worked as RA's together. he is like the big brother i didnt have. he made fun of me ALOT (and still does..which i love), made me laugh all the time, challenged me CONSTANTLY, and encouraged and loved me as a sister in Christ. i went through some pretty rough times in life and he was always there for me. a shoulder to cry on when i needed it, a reality check when i needed to be kicked in the butt, a laugh when i was down, and encouragement always. a constant friend for life. and ruth. well she is just amazing. we became friends my junior year and her sophomore year. we worked as RA's together and at camp. man do we have some good stories to tell about our year as RA's (we were pretty much the best ones ever...hahahahaha..oh vegas...) instantly we became friends. she is so kind and selfless. and she is FUNNY. seriously. she has a servants heart and one of the best friends ever. she was always someone i knew i could count on to understand my heart and never judge me when i shared it with her. and i still feel that way now. we shared life together those last two years i was at cbu. such an amazing woman of character. well i had the pure joy of bein in their wedding this last summer (and being the one who called them getting married after their first date..hahahaha). on few occasions have i felt so much joy and felt so proud as i did that day. it was truly an honor to stand beside two of my closest friends as they marry each other. i am so thankful for both of them being a part of my life and for the quality time i have gotten to spend with them this week.

g. had a girls day with ruth and shannon (ronnies (see g1) beautiful fiance). it was amazing. so nice to relax and enjoy each others company. we got manicures and pedicures. there was great conversation and yummy frozen yogurt. i am glad God has blessed me with these two beautiful women as friends. and i look forward to many more girls' days like this one...

g1. shout out to ronnie: ronnie is one of my other very closest friends from cbu. we have also been friends since my freshman year when he farted ON me and i didnt even know him. gross i know. but we have been friends ever since. he has been such a great friend. another big brother i never had. he is an incredible listener. and gives good advice. i have loved our many countless hours of conversation. definitely been an encouragement in my life. he is one of those friends that is there for you no matter what. anytime you need him he is there. there is such comfort and peace in having a quality friend who has your back no matter what. and i love that we have started little traditions amongst us...steak and crab...mmmhhhmmm and i appreciate that he always manages to be there to support you on important days of your life (graduations, birthdays, etc) and he is so so so funny. even if he likes to fart on girls.

h. going on a date with my special boy tomorrow (see h1.). and i am so excited and just smile when i think about it. :-) our week has been so busy that we havent gotten to see each other and really spend quality time together. so tomorrow we get to have that special quality time and i am so excited and giddy when i think about it. i really do love him very much :-)

h1. i just want to say how wonderful he is. so i was feeling so tired when i got back today from tuscon and still had lots to do before small group...making a snack was one of the things on my list. and i hate this list item since i am not good at making yummy things. well my wonderful boyfriend called me today and said he had made a snack(see h1.a) for his group and made some extra for me to serve at mine!!!! seriously. very thoughtful and so nice to have one less thing to do today..

h1.a there were brownies with a layer vanilla cream frosting with peanut butter/chocolate/rice krispy treat mix as the top layer...yummy!!! i think i just might keep him to bake for me!!!

i. well i was just feeling like a lot has been going on in my head and just needed to reflect on some of it

miley is gone

so sadly my time as miley's owner was very short lived. she was seriously the best dog i could have asked for. so behaved and just so cuddly. i could go on forever about her and how much i loved her. i honestly did not think i would get so attached to her in the the short time i had her. but i really i did. i hated leaving her for the day while i worked and couldnt wait to see her when i got home. she was just so mellow and relaxed all the time. i loved her very much.

well almost 3 weeks ago was one of the worst days ever. i was going out of town for the weekend and received an awful phone call from my parents (who were dog sitting for me) telling me that miley got out of the house. i immediately thought "oh no she has run away and my parents are out frantically searching for her" i thought this with the hope that they would find her. what was reality was far more devastating. they said she got out and ran. and ran and ran. my sister chased her on foot and my parents both got into cars and tried to catch her. i know she was running in hopes of finding home. finding me. i really was the only one she would cuddle with and listen to. she literally followed me every where that i went. i had never left her before and i know she was scared.  anyways she m

ade is probably almost 10 blocks from my parents house to one of the more busy intersections. my parents called to tell me that as she ran across the street she was hit by a car and did not make it. i immediately began sobbing. i never thought this would happen or that i would feel all the emotions that i felt at the moment. it was terrible. no way to describe it. i was about 2 hours from vegas at the time and i cried almost the entire way there. i cried myself to sleep that night thinking about her being gone. i was super busy that weekend which helped keep my mind off of her. as we began the drive home and reached barstow i began to cry and continued until we got home. it was setting in that she was not going to be there when i got home. i wouldnt see her. she wouldnt jump in my lap and cuddle with me. it got worse the closer we got to home until i finally laid in my bed and just sobbed. grieving over the loss of my puppy whom i had grown to love so much. i honestly never thought i would be one of those dog people who loved their animal and basically considered it family.

but i am. and i miss her so much. i have her blanket that she liked to sleep on still on my bed and i refuse to wash it yet because it still smells like miley. and it was her blanket and so it 

helps not miss her so much. it has been 3 weeks but i still feel very sad and cry 

about it sometimes. i want another dog someday. but that day is far away. the pain is still too bad. and the thought of losing another pet is not something i can handle. 

so here is 

another picture of my cute little puppy

ya she was pretty awesome..she winked

thug life

"What up G?"

sweet

its been a long week in teacher world. yet it has flown by. 

having a sub in theory sounds like a great idea. i mean a day off??? who doesnt love that? key word. theory. it is actually so much more of an inconvenience. having to write good plans so things you WANT done will actually GET done. leaving your kids minds in the hands of complete strangers. you work so hard to get them to learn and try to learn and then one day off in the mix brings ya back to square one in the learning game. and no matter how much you train them how to behave with a sub (or in my case threaten) they just cant seem to get it right....all this to preface why my week has seemed so...ugh

i had a sub half day tuesday

half day wednesday

all of thursday (which is our minimum day)

and we went on a field trip today.(which was SOOOO fun...but very tiring)

so my class got a total of two days instruction with me this week. 

which makes it difficult to keep up with the pacing set by my school when the subs did not get a chance to teach or cover all of the things i needed done. so i must reteach and continue to teach what i need to in order to stay on track. enough with the ranting. 

bottom line its been a long week...

that ended wonderfully. the boyfriend was very sweet and came over with chinese take out for dinner. it was so nice to just stay at home. to stay in and have dinner and be able to just lounge and relax. much needed. and VERY appreciated. he is ok...i think i might keep him

a day

today was a day. work. i love my job. i love my students...even though i tell them i am going to have an aneurism by the time i turn 26 due to some of them...or the few of them that i say lay awake at night thinking of ways to drive me crazy.. i love each and every one of them. but today was just one of those days when nothing seemed to go right in the classroom. i didnt have the materials ready that i thought i had ready when i needed them. so i got to use my creative juices and come up with some engaging and educational activities. it all worked out and i think some learning happened today. which is all i ask some days. i have lots of duties outside of the classroom that i am responsible for. science camp is one of them. i have never been and am excited to be able to experience this opportunity with my students. along with being a chaperone...i am actually being the coordinator for my school. which is great... but there is SOOO much that goes into it. i found out later than i should have and have missed a few deadlines for the school board but i have great administrators that are working with me and the board to get all the approvals i need on time. my deadline for the final list of names for camp was due before christmas break but i got it moved to this friday. i just had my last meeting with the two classes that were off track today. and to just say it...it was HECTIC...ugh nothing went right from the copies i needed, to having a translator, to having the video that i needed to show. but in the end...i think it went ok.

its been difficult getting back into the groove of working. i really got used to havin some time off...but it will happen. hopefully. :-) 

today was a thoughtful day. meaning introspective. just some things that have happened really made me think about myself and things i think and i feel and continue to process through. but having all of that going on in my head did NOT help my rough day at work. so today was weird. rough. and thoughtful.

blah blah blah